Book Review: This Monk Wears Heels

This Monk Wears Heels: Be Who You Are
Kodo Nishimura
2022, Watkins Publishing

Have to admire a book that can hold a mirror up to my own prejudices. So let's begin with an admission: I am an arrogant sod. 

As Kodo Nishimura lays out some basic tenets of Buddhism, and how he's applied them to his own journey as a gay man, I was all in. I don't know enough about Buddhism, so I welcomed the chance to learn. 

There are three poisons: greed, ignorance, and fear. I spent far longer than Kodo in the closet, too afraid to be myself without shame. I am glad to have purged that toxin. I acknowledge that I am ignorant of many things, but I work daily to improve. If we substitute desire for greed, I am often bound by a longing for things others seem to acquire easily: not wealth or power, but love, confidence, security, and respect.

Life, writes Kodo, describes eight types of suffering. Birth, aging, sickness, and death are intrinsic to the human experience and thus inescapable. If I can't change or avoid them, I must learn to find peace in acceptance. Then there are meeting with people or situations we hate, being unable to obtain what we desire, and parting from loved ones. For me, these have always been sources of profound anxiety and depression. Lastly, there is suffering arising from physical existence: matter, sensation, mental formation, discernment.

Lots to reflect on, right? Along the way, Kodo offers inspirational advice and axioms suitable for a quote-of-the-day calendar. All fine and good; nothing wrong with providing a simple path as well as a profound one.

But I'm arrogant. So when Kodo veered off into how proud he is of having done the makeup of Miss Universe pageant contestants, I cringed. I succumbed to fear, my favorite poison. I am afraid, I realized, of being considered frivolous. I am afraid cis/het society will dismiss and erase me because I am trans. I rolled my eyes when Kodo likened people to different colored pens. Really? Can you offer nothing more profound than a simile suitable to a kindergarten craft table?

I am afraid. I am desirous of what I lack. I am ignorant of my self and the world around me. So I will hold onto this book, and return to it with humility and gratitude. I will make a path by placing one stone at a time.