This week, I recorded an episode of Transqat with members of the Kraken Skulls of Shoreline Roller Derby. I had previously appeared on their podcast, Coming Hot Into The Box, hosted by Slice and Karnage. We had a blast, and they agreed to return the favor.
But there was a price. (Dunh-dunh-duhhhh! Dramatic Reverb!)
They challenged/invited me to join them on the track for practice. So it was that I found myself of a Tuesday evening in the Skate Inn in Plainfield. They geared me up: knee pads, elbow pads, helmet, skates. Strangely, no one was willing to share a mouthguard.
Slice protected me as I wobbled around the perimeter of the track. Her first bit of advice: if you're gonna fall, pick a cheek. That is, land on the cushiony bits, not the tailbone. Within minutes, I obliged, gracelessly slamming my left buttock on the floorboards.
For what it's worth, here are some life lessons I learned from my time with the Skulls:
Learn How to Fall. Gravity (and life) will claim your ass one way or the other. Plan for it. Train for it. If you're in the pack, learn to protect yourself by "falling small." Practice your recovery time to minimize how long you're out of play. Don't assume it'll never happen to you. It will, and, derby gods willing, you'll have the bruises to show for it.
Don't Be Afraid to Fall. Falling does not equal failing. Learn from each fall. What could you have done better? Before I came out I kept a tally of all the things I'd failed at. It was a long list, and I'd recite it to remind myself of the many ways I wasn't good enough. That's not a healthy way to live, and you're of no use to the team if you're shacked up with self-loathing. Keep your head in the game.
Communicate. The blockers need constant communication to effectively hinder the other team's jammer. Before I came out, I was godawful at communicating in any meaningful way. I was permanently clenched, afraid to do or say something that would give me away. Ask my daughter, or any of my exes (yeah, that's plural): when I was frustrated I'd go silent. The team loses if you can't communicate clearly and effectively.
You Are Valuable. This is not an empty affirmation. In derby, all bodies are welcome. Each body brings its own skills and assets to the team. You don't need to fit some pre-ordained image of perfection because there is NO SUCH THING! What can you do with that magnificent body of yours? That's the question.
Don't Be A Dick. Karnage says this is Prime Directive of Roller Derby. Create and maintain an atmosphere where (a) you feel safe enough to say to me, "That was out of line, and here's why." and (b) I feel safe enough to not get defensive. Give me the space to process. If I change my behavior, the team benefits; if not, I'm in violation of Rule #1. What if we could apply this to politics, schools, corporations, social media? What if the outcome of a confrontation wasn't "I win!" but "I understand."?
Comments
Post a Comment