Living Metaphorically

Growing up in the 70s and 80s, I had painfully limited access to helpful information about all things transgender. I didn't even have the vocabulary to express my inner life. The images I did find were distorted and kept me closeted and afraid. 

Early on, I started interpreting stories to reflect my inner life. I found acceptance and empowerment through superhero comics. I drew on stand-up comedy to feign confidence and wit. Anything to cobble together a person "they" might tolerate. But living metaphorically is no substitute for living IRL.

I was thinking about this last week as I came across this quote in Madeline Miller's 2018 Circe:

With every step I felt lighter. An emotion was swelling in my throat. It took me a moment to recognize what it was. I had been old and stern for so long, carved with regrets and years like a monolith. But that was only a shape I had been poured into. I did not have to keep it.

I always had the option to break the mold I'd been poured into. I just didn't know it.